Birthmother: What is a birthmother?

By Birthmother – I asked my daughter’s adoptive Daddy whether or not she’s started asking about her biological parents.  She’s 6 years old now which is certainly old enough to start wondering, to notice that something isn’t quite ‘normal’ about her family.  She does ask questions, but is she old enough to understand the answers?  What do these mysterious bioparents mean to her?  After all, she doesn’t see us with her own eyes.  We are not a part of her regular experience.  I would imagine that, to a child, a bioparent would be like a mythological creature, something you hear about and imagine but never really know.

So I thought, “What would I want my children to know about me?  How would I want them to imagine me, if they think of me at all?  I focused on the simple details.  I didn’t want to get lost in the confusion & frustration of being a biomom (birthmother).  Instead I focused on the best parts of being a biomom, the best things a biomom can be.

  • A Biomom is a very special lady.
  • A Biomom carries a baby in her womb (a womb is a special part of a lady’s body, near her tummy).
  • A Biomom feeds her baby and takes care of it while she carries it.
  • A Biomom feels her baby grow and move and kick.
  • A Biomom finds a good doctor to help her baby be born.
  • A Biomom makes plans for her baby.  She finds a perfect home where her baby can live.
  • A Biomom gives her baby to a loving family.
  • A Biomom can watch from far away while her baby grows up.
  • A Biomom is her baby’s biggest fan.  She collects pictures and stories and letters about her baby.
  • A Biomom and her baby have the same genes – this means that they have lots of things in common.
  • A Biomom will always love and remember her baby.
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